Well… At least Major Kestel was still alive. Evans read the message from Lucy for the third time. Time for a smoke break. Evans folded the envelope and slipped it into his gown’s pocket. He then grabbed a pack of cigarettes and his lighter and put them into the pocket. He then grabbed his crutches and limped to the smoking area. It was pretty late, so there wasn’t anyone out at the moment. Good.
Evans put a cigarette in his mouth and pulled out the lighter and paper. He lit the paper and stared at the fire for a moment. He then used it to light the cigarette, put the envelope on the ground and put the lighter away.
Evans took a drag on his cigarette. Someone opened the door behind him. He stamped out the smoldering embers of the paper and turned around, “Lucy?”
“One last thing before I go,” Lucy put on her hat and continued, “You’re being sent back to Fox Company when you get better. Unless… Captain Ricci heard I was going to visit you and wanted me to tell you that her offer still stands. She’s got discretion over her command and can transfer you anytime. Just say the word.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“I don’t get it Goldfish. No one would blame you. You’ve done more than enough already,” Lucy turned away from him, “What? Are you worried people will think less of you?”
“After the glory then, need a few more medals on your chest? I’m sure your children will prefer those over a living father than I few shiny trinkets.”
Evans dropped his cigarette on the ground and spit on the ground, “You couldn’t understand.”
“You’ve got a loving wife, a job waiting for you, three children… real friends,” Lucy turned, put her back against the wall, and slid down to the ground, “Who the fuck am I? You know what’s going to happen to me? I’ll stay in after the war. Eventually I’ll grow older and men will stop being interested because eventually they’ll want to have kids. And well, who wants to associate with some asshole from the fringes of society? I’ve been practically disowned by my family for being a shame on them. Even though I’m by far the most fucking successful member of it. I’m going to die alone surrounded by cats. I don’t even like cats. But an unmarried career woman? I’ve gotta have like a half dozen fucking cats. All I wanted was some kids. Fuck this war. Fuck this life. Fuck this army. Fuck this country. Fuck the Vledscans. Fuck you and Fuck me.” Lucy bowed her head.
Evans knelt down next to her and patted the back of her head.
“I’m sure it will be fine. The war makes everything chaotic, afterwards, you can settle down and adopt a kid or something. God knows how many orphans this war has created.”